Moving to France is an exciting experience, but adapting to French culture can be a challenge, especially when it comes to social etiquette, customs, and unspoken rules. The French are known for their appreciation of politeness, tradition, and formality, which can sometimes feel intimidating to expats. Whether you're planning a short stay or a long-term move, understanding French social norms will help you blend in, avoid misunderstandings, and make a great impression.
This guide will cover key aspects of French etiquette, from greetings and dining manners to workplace culture and common faux pas to avoid.
Understanding French Social Etiquette
Social etiquette plays a crucial role in French culture, and first impressions matter. Whether you're greeting a friend, ordering coffee at a café, or meeting colleagues in a professional setting, knowing how to navigate these social interactions is essential for building positive relationships and avoiding unintentional offence.
The Importance of Saying "Bonjour"
In France, greetings are not optional—they are a fundamental part of politeness. Saying “Bonjour” (Hello) when entering a shop, restaurant, or office is not just a courtesy; it is an expectation. Failing to acknowledge someone with a proper greeting before asking a question or making a request can be seen as rude or dismissive.
- If you are speaking to a shopkeeper, waiter, or receptionist, always begin with “Bonjour” to set the right tone.
- In the evening, switch to “Bonsoir” (Good evening) as a sign of respect for the time of day.
- When leaving, “Merci, au revoir” (Thank you, goodbye) is also appreciated.
French people highly value social niceties, so even a small effort can go a long way in making a positive impression.
La Bise vs. Handshakes: Knowing When to Kiss or Shake Hands
Greetings in France often involve physical contact, but the type of greeting depends on the context and familiarity between individuals.
- La bise (kiss on the cheek) is a standard greeting between friends, acquaintances, and sometimes even colleagues, particularly in more informal workplaces.
- The number of kisses varies by region—two is the norm, but in some areas, people may exchange three or even four kisses.
- Handshakes are standard in professional or formal settings and tend to be short and firm.
How to avoid awkward moments: If you’re unsure which greeting to use, wait for the other person to initiate. French people are aware that this tradition can be confusing for foreigners and will usually guide you.
Using Formal vs. Informal Language (Tu vs. Vous)
The French language has two forms of “you”:
- “Vous” is formal and used in professional settings, with strangers, older people, or anyone you do not know well. It is a sign of respect and politeness.
- “Tu” is informal and used among friends, family, and close colleagues.
A general rule is to always start with “Vous” unless invited to use “Tu”. Some French people may quickly suggest switching to “Tu” to create a more relaxed atmosphere, but it is best to let them initiate.
Key tip: If in doubt, opt for formality—being too polite is far better than accidentally being too informal.
Dining Etiquette in France
French dining culture is deeply ingrained in social life, whether you're enjoying a simple coffee at a local café or sitting down for a multi-course meal in a fine dining restaurant. Understanding French table manners and dining customs can help you blend in and avoid awkward moments.
French Table Manners
The French take table etiquette seriously, and even small gestures can convey respect and sophistication.
- Keep your hands visible on the table at all times, but avoid resting your elbows on the surface. Unlike in some cultures where hands are kept in the lap, in France, it’s considered polite to keep them on the table.
- Bread is traditionally placed on the tablecloth, rather than on your plate. Some people even rest it on the edge of their plate, but never on top of other food.
- If you're served a salad, do not cut the leaves with a knife. Instead, use your fork to fold them into bite-sized portions.
- Always wait for the host or the eldest person at the table to begin eating before you start your meal. Likewise, if you're dining at someone’s home, it is polite to wait for a toast before taking the first sip of wine.
Ordering Food and Drinks in France
Knowing how to navigate restaurant customs can enhance your dining experience and prevent misunderstandings.
- When trying to get the waiter’s attention, never call out “Garçon!” (which translates to “boy” and is considered rude). Instead, make eye contact or politely say “S'il vous plaît” (Please) to signal that you need assistance.
- The French take great pride in their cuisine, so don’t expect restaurants to make substitutions or heavily modify dishes. Menu items are carefully curated, and asking for changes is often frowned upon.
- Before taking a sip of wine, always toast with “Santé!” (Health!) or “À votre santé!” (To your health!). It’s a small yet meaningful tradition that adds to the experience.
Paying the Bill in France
The process of paying the bill differs from many other countries, and understanding these customs can help avoid awkward moments.
- Unlike in the U.S. or UK, splitting the bill is not common in France. If dining with French friends or colleagues, expect one person to cover the cost, with the understanding that others will take turns paying in the future.
- Tipping is not mandatory, as a service charge is already included in the bill. However, it is customary to round up or leave a few coins as a gesture of appreciation, particularly for excellent service.
French Work Culture and Professional Etiquette
The French workplace is known for its structured hierarchy, formal etiquette, and emphasis on work-life balance. Whether you're moving to France for a new job or working remotely with French colleagues, understanding workplace norms is essential to adapting successfully.
Work-Life Balance in France
France is famous for its pro-employee labor laws, which prioritise a healthy balance between work and personal life.
- The 35-hour workweek is a standard in France, although many professionals, particularly executives, work beyond this limit. However, employees are often compensated with additional time off (RTT days).
- Paid vacation is generous, with all full-time employees entitled to at least five weeks of paid leave per year. Many companies encourage workers to take their full holiday entitlement, particularly in August when much of the country slows down.
- Long lunch breaks are common. Unlike in Anglo-Saxon cultures where quick meals at a desk are normal, the French value sit-down lunches, often lasting one to two hours, especially in traditional workplaces.
Formality in the French Workplace
Professionalism in France extends to appearance, behaviour, and communication.
- Dress codes tend to be more formal and stylish compared to the UK or US. Even in business casual environments, the French prefer elegant and understated clothing over overly casual or flashy attire.
- Punctuality is expected but not extreme. Arriving a few minutes late to a meeting is tolerated, but excessive tardiness is seen as unprofessional. If running late, it’s best to inform colleagues in advance.
- Meetings often start with small talk before transitioning into business discussions. Taking time to exchange pleasantries is seen as a sign of respect.
Hierarchy and Communication in the Workplace
Understanding how authority and communication function in French companies is crucial for professional success.
- Many French workplaces maintain a hierarchical structure, meaning that decisions are often made at the top. It’s important to show respect to senior colleagues and managers, as authority is valued.
- Criticism is often direct and analytical. Unlike in Anglo-Saxon work cultures where feedback may be softened with positive reinforcement, the French tend to be blunt. This is not meant to be rude but rather a reflection of their cultural emphasis on critical thinking and debate.
- Intellectual discussions are encouraged, even in professional settings. Debating ideas and engaging in thoughtful discourse is common and not necessarily a sign of disagreement.
Common Cultural Faux Pas to Avoid
Adjusting to life in France goes beyond learning the language—it also means adapting to social norms and etiquette. The French place a high value on politeness, discretion, and cultural traditions, and unintentional mistakes can make expats stand out for the wrong reasons.
Common Faux Pas to Avoid in France
- Not greeting people properly – Saying “Bonjour” (Good morning) or “Bonsoir” (Good evening) before starting a conversation is essential in France. Whether you're entering a shop, speaking to a receptionist, or addressing a neighbour, skipping this greeting can come across as rude or dismissive.
- Speaking loudly in public – The French value moderation in speech, especially in public places like restaurants, cafés, and public transport. Loud conversations or excessive enthusiasm in public spaces may draw unwanted attention or be perceived as disruptive.
- Assuming everyone speaks English – While many French people understand English, it’s polite to begin conversations in French, even if it’s just a simple “Bonjour, parlez-vous anglais?” Making an effort shows respect for the local culture.
- Over-tipping – In France, service is already included in restaurant bills, so leaving an additional tip is not expected. However, it’s common to round up or leave small change for exceptional service.
- Discussing money openly – Unlike in some cultures where discussing finances is casual, the French consider talking about salary, wealth, or financial status impolite. Topics like politics, personal income, or material possessions should be approached with caution in social settings.
- Wearing workout clothes outside the gym – Athleisure, which is common in countries like the US or Australia, is not widely accepted as daily wear in France. The French tend to dress elegantly, even for casual outings, so wearing gym clothes outside of exercise settings may make expats stand out.
Conclusion: Adapting to French Culture as an Expat
Adapting to French culture requires patience, observation, and an open mind. While some customs may seem rigid or unfamiliar at first, embracing French etiquette, social norms, and cultural traditions will help you integrate smoothly and enjoy your experience.
The key to fitting in? Respect the culture, make an effort with the language, and don’t take things too personally. The French appreciate when foreigners try to adapt, and the more you engage with locals, the more you’ll feel at home.
If you’re moving to France or already living there, learning these unwritten rules of French culture will ensure that you avoid awkward situations and enjoy a more authentic experience.