For many expats, moving to France is a long-held dream. It conjures visions of long lunches under plane trees, the smell of freshly baked bread wafting through cobbled streets, and yes, a glass of something red and elegant in hand. But for Daley, a Californian now firmly rooted in Bordeaux, the dream became a reality nearly a decade ago, and not without its challenges, surprises, and joys.
Why Bordeaux? Why Not Paris?
Paris may be the go-to fantasy for most international movers, but Daley took a different path, one that led her to Bordeaux, a city often dubbed “Little Paris” thanks to its Haussmann-style architecture and charming urban landscape. While Paris dazzles with its grandeur, Bordeaux offers a more approachable version of French life: refined yet relaxed, cosmopolitan but community-driven.
For Daley, the decision wasn’t part of a grand life plan. A missed opportunity to study in Paris led to Bordeaux almost by accident, a butterfly effect that would shape her future. One trip, one semester, and one host family later, the wine-loving, croissant-craving student knew she wasn’t ready to say goodbye to France. And so, she didn’t.
When a Study Abroad Becomes a Life Abroad
Like many who study abroad, Daley experienced reverse culture shock upon returning to the US. Suddenly, the conveniences of home felt sterile; the hustle felt hollow. The contrast between the American fast-paced lifestyle and the French emphasis on pleasure, presence, and ritual, especially around food, was jarring.
In France, meals aren’t just functional; they’re foundational. There are times to eat and times not to. There are courses, rituals, and rhythms to follow. And once you adapt to it, to gouters at 4pm, to late-night dinners that stretch into early morning aperitifs, it’s hard to return to grab-and-go culture.
Food Is More Than Food
Daley’s not wrong when she says, “Food is more than food.” In France, it's social glue. From raclette nights with friends to long lunches that morph into all-day affairs, food is how the French connect. You don’t just eat, you sit, savour, talk, debate, laugh, and linger.
And this mindset isn’t limited to what’s on your plate. It extends to fashion, leisure, work, and even how you interact with others. In Bordeaux, showing up to the bakery in your pajamas is unthinkable. “Effortless chic” isn’t just a cliché, it’s a cultural code. Even a five-minute boulangerie run demands dignity (and trousers).
French Bureaucracy: A Rite of Passage
Of course, moving to France isn’t just croissants and candlelit dinners. It also involves paperwork, and lots of it. From visa renewals to legalising marriages (and divorces), navigating French administration can test the patience of even the most determined expat.
But as frustrating as it is, there’s a strange comfort in it too. Once you understand that “it will arrive when it arrives” is a legitimate motto at the prefecture, you stop fighting it. You become more… French. You let things take time. You take a long lunch and trust that your carte de séjour will eventually show up (hopefully before it expires).
Cracking the Coconut
One of Daley’s best metaphors? “The French are like coconuts; Americans are like peaches.” Americans are warm, open, friendly, easy to chat with, even if it never goes beyond small talk. The French, on the other hand, may seem closed at first, but once you’re in, you’re in for life.
Building friendships in France isn’t always easy, especially outside the usual expat bubbles, but it’s deeply rewarding. Many locals maintain friendships that go back to childhood, and cracking into those circles takes time and patience. Daley credits her partner for helping her connect more deeply with French culture, traditions, and social life, and she also highlights how the expat community in Bordeaux has become her chosen family.
Work-Life Balance, The French Way
When it comes to work, France isn’t just different, it’s practically on another planet compared to the US. With seven weeks of paid vacation, regular breaks, and a “right to disconnect” enshrined in law, Daley found herself easing into a rhythm that felt foreign but right. No answering emails on Wednesdays. No work WhatsApp pings during holidays. It’s not laziness, it’s boundaries.
Final Thoughts for Aspiring Expats
If you’re dreaming about life in France, Daley’s story offers some honest insights. You won’t understand the bureaucracy right away. You may feel a bit overdressed or underdressed at the wrong moments. You’ll probably cry in a prefecture at least once.
But you’ll also discover a slower, richer, and more intentional way of living. You’ll savour wine the way it’s meant to be savoured. You’ll learn that lunch isn’t just a break in the day, it is the day. And maybe, just maybe, you’ll realise you’ve become a little more French yourself.
Thinking of making the move? Bordeaux might just surprise you, it certainly did Daley. 👉 Watch the full video interview below
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